Category: Politics

Sunnis targeted in wave of violence across Iraq

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Tell them I hate them. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock.

The Honking

Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. Actually, that’s still true. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Meh. Yeah, lots of people did.

  • Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
  • Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
  • WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
  • Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

A Big Piece of Garbage

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

The Why of Fry

I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want!

  1. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
  2. I can explain. It’s very valuable.
  3. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”!
  4. Oh God, what have I done?
Parasites Lost

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

Anthology of Interest II

With gusto. Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.

Key aides from Putin’s inner circle targeted in new round of EU sanctions

Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.

Porro Quisquam

Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur? Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit. Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem.

  • Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat.
  • Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus.
  • Eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi.
  • Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque.

Ut Enim

Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat. Quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. At vero eos et accusamus.

Ipsam Vuptatem

Esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum. Quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit.

  1. Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?
  2. Nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum.
  3. Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?
  4. Cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia.
  5. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit.
Ut Enim

Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam. Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur? Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. At vero eos et accusamus.

Porro Quisquam

Esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam. Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga.

Facebook to buy virtual reality firm Oculus VR for $2 billion

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.

Natural Born Kissers

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?

  • The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
  • Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!

Life on the Fast Lane

Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO! Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Selma’s Choice

“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

  1. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
  2. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.
  3. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
Rosebud

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

Cape Feare

Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Amazon customers: Get your e-book credit

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

The Cyber House Rules

Ummm…to eBay? Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

  • I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
  • I’m Santa Claus!
  • Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

Xmas Story

With gusto. Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!

Attack of the Killer App

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

  1. Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
  2. Meh.
  3. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela

Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Ooh, name it after me! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!

Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! I never loved you.

Fighter jets intercept plane that breached summit flight restriction

Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Temporibus Autem Quibusdam

Et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque. Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Temporibus autem quibusdam et aut officiis debitis aut rerum necessitatibus saepe eveniet ut et voluptates repudiandae sint et molestiae non recusandae.

  • Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
  • Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem.
  • Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit.
  • Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam.

Porro Quisquam

Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam. Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?

Temporibus Autem Quibusdam

Fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur? Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem.

  1. Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati.
  2. Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati.
  3. Non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem.
Porro Quisquam

Architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio.

Quis Nostrum

Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam. Cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia. At vero eos et accusamus. Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem.